Thursday, May 18, 2006

Today is Armageddon.

It is a pity that I forgot the proper protocol for dealing with such a significant day as Armageddon. Everyone knows that the only way to go out is to go out in style, and I have naturally forgotten to put my suit on today. It was just sitting there in my closet so it oughtn’t to have been much trouble to put on.

After a late night and minimal hours of sleep, I was gently prodded into wakefulness by my parents. Upon getting up out of my bed, I decided it would probably be a good idea to contemplate Armageddon before rushing into it headlong. That is why I was sprawled out on the floor in my pajamas, of course. No, I was not sleeping or “resting”. How dare you, sir.

It is a matter of fact that I was praying to the Deity I hold dear, hoping that some good might come out of this calamity. After finishing this prayer I was still sure of the calamity part but no more re-assured about the good.

I then decided that I had been dragging this out long enough and proceeded into the living room. My mother was carrying on the preliminary hour of schooling with my younger sisters. There was a mug of coffee on the stove that she had evidently just finished pouring. I asked if it was for me. She said that it was hers and that it was not coffee, but English Breakfast Tea, and noted that there was still some left in the pot. I poured myself the remaining tea, and, at her advisory, poured more hot water into the pot to extract what little tea the unfortunate bag had left to give.

There was also a carrot muffin. After cutting it in half, I made a general inquiry as to whether the popular muffin-preparations of the morning had involved heating the muffin up or not. My mother did not much see how that had anything to do with anything, but my sisters informed me that they and my father had warmed up their muffins. My mother admitted she had not. I warmed up my muffin and then buttered it.

It is at this time that I sat before the source of Armageddon, the personal computing system, the bringer of death and life. I looked at its blank screen, the screen upon which I would draw my fate by the end of the day. I looked at the table, with the warm muffin and tea waiting for me.

It is good to have breakfast before the end of the world.